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So at around 10 in the morning it was time for Kambo.They do it in the usual seremonial way, with purifying and cleansing of the room and the people, clearing way for the spirit to do its work. You decide for yourself how many dots you want. I went for 7 and so did my german co-traveller who up to this day never had heard of Kambo before. The German went first, received the Kambo with ease and grace and had a very bizarre reaction to it. Bizarre to me, but i learned that this reaction is quite common for people who is accepting Kambo 100% and just let go: he purged in a matter of seconds after the poison was put on the dots and then went directly to sleep and slept for 2 hours!!

Not so easy for me! After the blood-pressure went up and my vision went all blurry the all to familiar neusia came on real strong and i soon felt worse than i ever did before. I wanted so much to purge and be done with it, but nothing came. Was I resisting purging? Maybe, but i swear i wanted to as well, so bad. I felt worse and worse and after 10 minutes i felt the urge to go to the toilet. They had to help me out there and after one stop on the way i was finally installed onnthe toilet. There followed 10-15 more dreadful minutes before it finally wore off. I came back into the seremony room, the poison was removed and some dragonblood was put on. I laid down under some blankets, but froze like hell for a long time probably due to low blood-pressure.

The rest of the day we just chilled, read (Tolle's "A New Earth"), meditated, went for a walk and slept a little. I felt gradually better as the day past and after the dutch guy arrived in the evening it was finally time to do the thing we all had come to do.

We took showers and changed into seremonial clothes and Sander and Mike gave us some information on what we could expect. Then we where given a micro-dose and went for a 20 minute walk to check for allergic or abnormal reactions. We where all fine and ready to go.

Back in the house we received the first dose in a seremonial way that was graceful and beautiful. Before that though, we shared our intentions and its really up to yourself how detailed you want to be here. I find it better to be open as i think it helps me not to have hidden anything for the facilitators and fellow travellers. In a way my heart feels more honest and true this way. But this is of cource your own choice.

Then we waited. To pass the time we passed a book and a talking stick around. The book had some 500 spiritual and personal developement questions in it, and each of us opened it randomly and then answer the question we found most difficult. It could be questions like "what do you choose, freedom or safety?", "when do you feel powerless?", "wich of your traits do you value most?" - stuff like that. And each question usually led to a discussion, entertaining and the time passed. It was time for a new dose - double this time. Not much really happened with the first dose, i felt a slight vibration.

20 minutes into the second dose, i started feeling dizzy and asked to be taken to the my bed upstairs. Its good to get up those steep stairs before my ability to walk gets to affected to much (ataxia) and i am happy to finally be in bed, bucket on the floor, ready for whatever comes.The visions start coming and getting more and more intense and before I knew it Mike or Sander is there by my bed with another double-dose.Iswallowitdownand continue my journey.

This firstphaseof the journey is called the deathphase.It lasts for a good 8 hours where you are unable to walk and coordinate your physical body very well. There is also purging going on. Regarding purging, i had only one purge, maybe two hours into it and then some mild neusia later on. As indicated before, i didnt find it physically (or mentally) hard at all to do it. The dutch guy on the other hand, struggled a lot, the whole nigjt trough (he didnt take Kambo, might be a connection). The german actually fell asleep on several occationts trughout the night - something that shouldnt be possible...but he was snoring like hell, so no doubt he slept.

The rest of the deathphase was all about images and visions, they kept coming the whole night, hundreds, some seemingly with no connection to my life, but with relevant teachings, some with very recognizable settings, some I still need time to figure out, some with clear beginnings and ends and with clear meanings.

I made the mistake of trying to work actively on my intentions in thisphase, but it wasn’t really possible. I wasted a lot of time and visions this way, I am afraid and I can’t believe I was that stupid cause i knew that during thisphase I should just sit back and allow the visions to come. Anyway, I made it through the death-phase.Duringthenighti needed one visit to the toilet.To get assistance, you just stamp your feet on the floor and the boys would appear in seconds.

InthemorningMike and Sander brought some fruit and made us take a few steps on the floor (assisted).Then it was time for the nextphase - the in-between.Here you can ask questions, work on your intentions and get answers you are looking for.

The in-between stage is incredible. Here, its possible to interact, ask questions, meet earlier versions of yourself, meet dead loved ones and more. Basically, these 4-6 hours should be spent working with your intentions. In the Bwiti ritual this is the phase where you meet your ancestors.

When we shared intentions at the beginning of the seremony i spoke of my desire to meet especially my mother and mothers father but also my father and the rest of my dead grandparents (not to mention Jesus and Buddha). Mike then said that many came with such intentions and many returned dissapointed. And indeed, i saw nothing of Jesus or Buddha or most of my passed loved ones, but i did speak to my mother and grandfather, but it was not like they came to visit me from another dimension, rather that i could interact with a version of them i had stored both consciously and unconsciously. But it was still way up there on the coolness scale and enormously helpfull to get closure on some personal stuff.

Another thing i experienced in this phase was the ability to meet myself as a kid. This was amazing and gave me a liberating feeling beyond belief. It felt like i could step into myself as a child and feel and see what he felt and saw, feeling 100% how he was in his essense, but at the same time with an objective distance - difficult to explain exactly. For me who has struggled a bit with low self esteem and bad self image, stepping into this lovely, caring, curagous, kind boy was truley purifying and gave me closure to a lot of stuff.Even though i experienced this in the in-between phase,i didnt process it before the last phase, the re-birth phase.

So i worked on my intentions in this phase and several revelations appeared. Much of it still not clear, so i wont touch it here.

One thing i want to share though, but i am not exactly sure if it went on in death- or in-between phase. Much is blurry from the three days, the medicine was strong. Anyway, at one point I knew what was going on in the room even if i had my eyes closed. I saw Mike and Sander when they entered the room and approached my bed. When i opened my eyes, they stood exactly were i knew they would stand. This exited me a great deal and i spent a lot of time just looking around the room and then open my eyes to check. At one point i even ammused my self with holding up my hands in front of my closed eyes and looking trough the hands. It was amazing. Later Sander and Mike told me that some even reported ability to look trough walls with their third eye!

Another thing up the same alley; i was able to gaze down at my self as i lay in the bed, it only lasted a short while though.

What else? I got answers, i got explanations and i got visions, one of wich i thought i would share with you today, but there is to little time and i am too tired. Thats a thing, my energy level have gone up and down since Iboga, but thats quite normal. So vision is shared tomorrow, but i hope it will be worth the wait.

After the in-between we went downstairs, ate something and talked and shared a bit. It was difficult to walk, so we all went out to practice and to ground. It was made a point of staying awake until the evening so we would have a good re-birth phase and sleep trough the night.

The re-birth phase is really about having a good nights sleep and integrate the two previous phases.

I was a bit worried about it since the german guy snored like a mad-man. And there was no rythm to his snoring either, so i found myself knotting up in fearful anticipation of the next thunder-sound. I couldnt take it anymore so i went to his bed and asked him to change position. Next thing i knew he was leaving the room altogether and we soon heard a distant snore from another room.

It was not my intention to kick him out, just adjust his position. That said, the room was now suddenly filled with a tremendous quiet peaceful feeling that wasnt there before.

The night came and i slept deeply. Woke up a couple of times, but fell asleep again. I dreamt but couldnt remember them.

When i finally woke up and was ready to get out of bed i had this feeling of peace and quiet in my head and body that was incredebly pleasent. I cant remember ever feeling like this. It was 100% calm-ness, no chatter from the mind, no demands from the body. It was just here and now! Amazing feeling.

To a certain degree i can still reach this state, not perfect, but the stillness is still there and it feels great.

I feel different nowant it has been two months since the experience.I am more in my own energy and dont get so affected by the energy if others. This is great for me as other people could sometimes exhaust me.

I have touched upon it before, but i also feel more love for myself.

I have a better understanding an feeling of whats important in life.

I am less afraid of death (i did not feel this as a big thing for me before though) and more in love with life.

All in all a fantastic experience for me.

What ifound a bitwas to avoid any substance for 2 months. No problem with drugs or alcohol, but green tea (Caffeine) and snus (nicotine)wasa struggle, especially snus. But the first 2-3 weekswerethe worst andnow I am really glad. Its important to stay with the diet for a full two months as the medicine is still working for this whole period.

I am thinking of returning next year for another great experience. Thanks Sander and Mike for being such generous souls. A lot of love and respect to you both!

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